Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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