apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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