He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
