Buhtt sex?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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