heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
