I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Everyone says I win the strip club
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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