you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
