i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize