did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
