Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
