Sponge bath it is.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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