So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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