FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
