you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
