Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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