So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
