well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
