3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
