too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
