i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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