Non-Jews are for practice
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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