Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
