Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
