just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
