we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
