Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
