it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
