i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
