The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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