btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I touched a dick in church today
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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