You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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