Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
