he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
