Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
