I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
