My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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