i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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