is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
