@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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