Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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