so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think my nap took me to another dimension
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
