I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
