Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
