i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's rum buckets o'clock
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
