you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize