He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
