We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
