I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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