somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
