i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
