lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
