you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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