Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
