lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize