also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
