Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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