Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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